When we need help, relationship is also the centre.
We are part of nature & not outside of, or separate from it.
Nature is “all” of Life. Everything that exists is a part of nature.
The belief that nature is separate from us is connected to beliefs about what is “civilized” and what is “barbaric” and “wild”.
Beliefs are conclusions that come from our assumptions about life.
Assumptions are the things we accept as true. Assumptions come from ideas we develop. We develop ideas in response to emotions we feel.
The belief that nature is separate from us comes from assumptions about nature and life.
This belief is connected to ideas of evolution, where nature is seen as something childlike, because it is seen as untamed.
Nature is seen as wild. The “wild” is seen as uncivilized and needing to be tamed. Being uncivilized is seen as defective, and the opposite of perfection.
Taming or civilizing, is seen as bringing “the wild” closer to perfection.
In this belief, humans are the civilized, so nature does not include us. And being civilized, we are both different and “better” than the rest of all that exists.
This is so much so, that the word “humanity” has taken on the meaning of being the civilized. And being called an animal is an insult.
The description of the civilized and “evolved” from the childlike state, suggests that we then have authority over the rest of all life.
And it is our role to civilize the rest of life. It is similar to an idea that we are the adults in control of the children, where nature is the child.
Nature is “all” of life. Everything that exists “is” nature, including us. There is nothing about nature or life, that is defective.
The word nature means “birth” or “to be born”. Everything that exists first has to be “born”, for it “to” exist. Therefore, everything that exists “is” nature, including us.
Being a part of nature, how we exist is more similar to other animals and other forms of life, than popular assumptions would portray.
The places we build to live together, are similar to other animals. Our homes, villages, cities, and relationships are in common to homes and the organizing of our shared resources as other animals. They all rely on relationships.
Nature relies on relationship. What we call ecology is about this relationship. Relationship is found throughout all of life.
There is nothing about life or nature, that is defective or wrong. And there is nothing about us that is defective or wrong.
We cannot get to self-love starting from the belief that we are defective.
Our self is a relationship between our body and who we learn we are from the culture (our social self).
Our body is the foundation in this relationship.
Our self is an active, living relationship between our body and the culture, where the culture is experienced through our relationships with others.
Emotions are beliefs we create over thousands of years, through the specific groups (cultures) we live in.
Through our relationships with others, we create ideas and beliefs. Ideas become beliefs when they help us get tasks done.
Emotions are beliefs that we learn that help the group to function.
Emotions are different in different cultural groups, and are not universal.
Because we need each other to survive, we work on keeping in check the emotions we’ve learned we “should” have, for the specific culture we’re in.
This helps us to meet the expectations of others and by doing so, helps our relationships and our survival.
We work to balance what we “should” feel, what we “want” to feel, and what we “try” to feel.
From very early childhood, our emotions can become linked to our body’s sensations.
Our body’s sensations are the reactions our body has to something in our environment – like when we shiver, sweat or feel cold.
The emotions we’ve learned “interpret” our sensations, to match the beliefs of the culture.
The linking of our emotions and our sensations, helps keep our sensations “in check” with what we’ve learned we “should” feel.
In cultures that have more rigid beliefs about life, there are more rules about emotions.
How rigid or how flexible a culture’s assumptions are, come from how different aspects of that culture’s history were in relationship to each other.
Because cultures are made up of relationships and relationships are made up of people who feel sensations and emotions, a culture’s “rules” about emotions affect how we know and experience who we are.
Learn how what we believe about life, affects what we notice and how we feel.
Everything that occurs, is specific to culture, time, place and people, “and” everything is also always changing.
Many aspects affect each event in life that occurs. Each aspect is in relationship with every other aspect that exists, making everything both “of” and “with” other things that exist.
In this ongoing relationship, with each aspect being affected by and changing as part of relationship, there is no constant in life except change. This makes everything particular & not universal or generalizable across time or place.
We cannot know what is real. The only reality we know of is what we experience & each of our experiences is uniquely our own.
We are limited in what we can know, because we are in bodies. The senses we have through our bodies are specific to what we need for functioning & our survival.
So our senses detect, identify and remember what information we need to survive “and” also detect that information in ways specific to how our bodies “learned” to do so. We are “experiencers” and this is our only knowable reality.
Life is necessarily about change. Change is equal to adaptation. Pain and conflict are built-in to life and this change.
We need to feel pain and discomfort, as part of our bodies getting information from our environments to help us to respond and adapt.
Because what we each see, and how we adapt to get what we need, are unique and part of our individual survival, conflict about what we see and from how we each adapt is part of life.
The clash, like our feeling pain, is part of adaptation, and of life’s ongoing creation and change.
We do not evolve to some “better” point or higher state. We adapt to survive.
If the conditions or environment around us changed, where for our survival “losing” something we previously gained would benefit our survival, that’s what our bodies would do.
These adaptive changes occur in relationship with other elements that are also themselves adapting.
This makes life appear more like sets of relationships changing with each other in space, and less like a straight line with an end point of accomplishments.
The “activity” of life is adaptation and change in constant creation.
There is no permanence but life itself. Because of this, there are no absolute or static truths.
In the ongoing activity of life and creation, there isn’t one singular or categorical human experience.
Diversity and change then are adaption. And life is constantly creating and re-creating life.
We are whole and complete and also part of a larger whole.
Everything that exists, exists distinct “and” intertwined with many other things.
So that one part of something is always unique due to the continuous change and adaptation of different aspects in relationship with each other.
And each part of something does not exist without another part that it’s related to.
We are whole, made up of whole parts, and are part of and with a larger whole.
I believe that each of us is good enough, and that we are each doing our best in each moment.
I believe that our relationship with ourselves determines our relationship with others and the world.
I believe that how we see life is a reflection of our relationship with our selves.
I believe that what we assume about life, affects how we feel, how we know our selves, and how we make decisions and live our lives.
I believe that everything we imagine, desire and do every day with ourselves and others are active ripples of relationship and change in each moment.
I believe that everything that occurs in life is functional, purposeful and meaningful, “and” that everything that occurs in our lives is leading us toward healing.
I believe that we are whole.
I believe that we are in relationship with ourselves and all of life.
I believe that life is whole.
All of nature is whole. All of nature is relationship. We are part of nature.
A Culture & Relationships approach starts from the primacy of relationship.
We disrupt and innovate leadership with heart and mind, emotion and reason, side by side.
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